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Fear and Courage

Baru baru ini, ada temenku yang kasih aku suatu article untuk personal development untuk hidup dengan courage. Dan juga aku ada chatting ama temenku yang lain. Lagi curhat nigh ceritanya. Dia ngomongin tentang problemnya panjang lebar dan akhirnya ada yang menyangkut tentang fear. Fear yang membuat dia stop untuk melakukan apa yang dia pikir semestinya di lakuin. Well, this doesn’t surprise me. Since aku nemuin kejadian kaya begini banyak especially di culture kita di Indo.

Dalam culture kita, sadar atau tidak sadar kita pasti banyak nemuin kata kata orang tua yang ngomongin kita untuk stay safe. In fact, memang ini cara kita (majority) di didik sejak kecil di rumah maupun di sekolah. “Terlalu bahaya”, “Wes, jok ambil resiko.”, “Ga usah cari perhatian orang lah.”, “Ikutin tradisi keluarga.”, “Jangan ngomong ama orang yg ga dikenal.”, “Ati ati loh di jalan.”, “Cari aman aja lah.”

Bukan nya ini suatu yang jelek, tapi terlalu menekankan untuk cari aman ada side effect yang buat kita akhirnya terbiasa berbuat passively.. Instead of setting our own goal - mbuat rencana untuk mencapainya dan menjalaninya dengan semangat dan courage, kita jalani hidup kita dengan aman dan santai… Tetap kerja di pekerjaan yang stabil, walaupun itu tidak mencukupi kebutuhan kita.. Tetap bertahan di suatu relationship, walaupun kamu kerasa mati dan hampa di dalam compared to the passion yang kamu pernah punya sebelumnya… Tetap menjalani hidup kita yang membosankan, walau kita tau itu semua ga ada artinya dan ga ada tujuannya… Well you might got someone told you, “Ya mau gimana lagi, memang beginilah hidup ini.. wes lah ga usah mikiri banyak… Terimalah hidupmu dan make the best of it. Ikuti arus lah, jangan macem macem, orang seng laen juga gitu koq.. jadi normal normal aja kalo gini… Harapan kamu satu satunya itu cuman kalo arus hidup ini bisa bawa kamu ke direction yang kamu mau.. makae berdoa lah..”

Filosofi bermain aman ini lah yang membuat kita akhirnya biasa di payung securitas dan akhirnya membuat kita tidak mempunyai courage… Memang bener kalo ada beberapa bahaya yang kita harus hindari… tapi ada bedanya antara keberanian dan kenekatan!! Menurut ku courage itu adalah suatu qualitas pemikiran yang bisa membuat seseorang bisa overcome suatu adverse situation atau perasaan takut dengan percaya diri dan resolusi. Orang hanya bisa di bilang berani kalo dia punya rasa takut… kalo tidak namanya tuh orang nekat.. justru orang yang takut dan bisa ngelawan rasa takutnya maka bisa di bilang berani…

Coba pikir what would happened in our life kalo kita berani?? Berapa sering kita di hantui rasa takut trus kita play safe and do nothing?? Takut untuk gagal. Takut untuk ditolak. Takut jadi bangkrut. Takut sendirian. Takut dihina. Takut ngomong didepan publik. Takut dikucilkan dari teman ato society. Takut physical discomfort. Takut menyesal. Takut ga ada penggantinya. Takut commitment. Dengan courage bukan berarti kita jadi nekat bermain sesuatu yang bener bener bahaya… kita tetep aja bisa sense mana yang real danger ato tidak. Karena keberanian itu suatu qualitas pemikiran… Perlu mikir untuk bisa berani… Dan dengan courage, kita bisa lebih banyak mencoba menelan resiko yang biasanya the worst case sebenarnya ga bener bener merugikan.. Kelakuan kita yang biasanya sering diam akhirnya jadi kebiasaan.. Dan kebiasaan ini mengakar di pola hidup kita.. Jeleknya kita mulai membenarkan dan membuat alasan untuk kebiasaan diam kita.. “Aku punya keluarga yang kita harus support dan ga bisa ambil resiko itu.” “Lah orang laen yang aku kenal gitu semua, jadi aku kan normal normal aja” “Aah, aku memang ga bisa kurusan, soale kan aku memang punya gen gemuk :p.”… Sebenarnya, We don’t really give a try, do we?? Dan apa cara terfavorite yang biasanya kita lakukan untuk diam?? Hmmm… palingan kita nonton tv, dengerin radio, buka internet browsing2 yang ga tau mau ngebrowse apa, pergi kerja yang berlebihan, shopping, tidur, ato bengong.. try to ignore our need sampe jadi kebiasaan dan kita ga bakal kerasa perlu lagi…

Penyakit mendasar dari orang yang berpikiran “present time” adalah selalu menunda nunda atau menghindar dari masalah… Dan lucunya, ini bukan sesuatu yang baru.. kita semua tau ini… mungkin ortu ato temen dah pernah ngomongin.. tapi jarang dari kita merubah sikap dan menjalani dengan benar.. ada pepatah: Everybody want to go to heaven, but no one want to die… Bukan aku ngomong orang yang mau ke surga cepet2 mati sana hehehe.. tapi pointnya banyak dari kita itu mau sesuatu tapi ga mau berusaha ato menjalani requirementnya… seperti mau kaya tapi males malesan takut cape takut gagal, mau punya pacar tapi takut kenalan dan mendekati, mau relationship yang hangat, tapi ga memulai berkomunikasi takut jayus… Karena rasa takut itu lah yang mbuat kita itu ga mau memulai...

Sering kali aku kalo ngajak teman untuk do something.. apa lagi new thing.. mereka selalu berpikiran yang jeleknya dulu… ntar begini gimana?? Wah kalo itu mah susah.. Udah rada terlambat sekarang.. looking for any excuses that the world may offer to refuse or not to try… the question is always “WHY”.. Kenapa aku harus gitu? Kenapa nyoba? Kenapa harus mikir? Kenapa harus kerja? Kenapa harus berani?

Mungkin some of us might think what I said is too ambitious.. but my friend, since I think what I wrote now is pretty long for a blog opinion… let me just finish this quick.. I just hope you guys learn not to ask “WHY?” Instead learn to ask “WHY NOT?” Aku yakin itu akan bisa mbantu kita untuk berani mencoba… dan jangan takut… Rubahlah rasa takut kita jadi suatu action, walau kita expect it to fail.. dan inget semua changes itu perlu waktu.. ga ada yang instant.. jadi kalo ada waktu nya kita masih takut untuk ini dan itu… give it times… yang paling penting kita tetep aware dan mau berubah…

well there are other ways untuk ga jadi takut selain merubah pola bertanya kita… Kalo pernah baca “who moved my cheese”… itu rasae buku gampang di ngerti dan ngomongin ttg change.. orang harus mau untuk change dan harus berani change… baca deh yang belon tau baca… Hmmm maybe I will continue this someday … cape ah nulis panjang banget … ini aja udah banyak yang aku cut dan cencored lol...

For those who has read until this part, I would like to say "WOW"... I amazed that you were not stop reading and not being fear of wasting your time to read this "sleepy" writing...

But you know what... You are wasting your time !!! MWAHAHAHHAA.... Well too bad... :p

Lots of my writing in this blog is quoted from article that is wrote by Steve Pavlina..

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. - Dale Carnegie

A message from the heart

Dear God,
I have a request for You tonight...
I have a message for someone that I could not talk to...
Someone that I have been ignored her existence... Even when we have been lived together under one roof...
Someone that has cooked for me when I was hungry, and has taken care of me when I was sick...
Someone that I have never known... about her past, her work, her parents, and even her name...

I felt guilty for my ignorance toward her, which is supposed to be my obligation to love her...
When you meet her, please tell her I'm sorry..
Not for something that I have done..
But for something that I have never done.. to give unconditional attention and love...
Also, please tell her, thank you so much... for her love to me...

Now, Only regret that left in my heart...
I wish I can turn back time to change the past... But I couldn't...
I wish I can change my attitude toward her in the future... And still I couldn't...

Ooo God,
I beg You...
Please deliver this message to my Grandmother that just passed away this morning...
Tell her, that her stupid grandson is asking her for forgiveness...
Amen...

Loneliness - A Monster Within

TO THEM, I AM A MEMENTO OF A TIME GONE BY THAT THEY NOT WANT TO NOTICE...

THEN, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MY EXISTENCE?
WHEN I THOUGHT OF THAT, I FOUND NO ANSWER...

WHILE WE LIVE, PURPOSE IS NECESSARY...
WITHOUT THAT, IT IS THE SAME AS BEING DEAD...

FROM THAT, I FELT ALONE...
AND IN FACT, I AM A LONER...

Wonderful world

It was pretty harsh day... the humid and the heat was very anoying... Stressed, serious, or almost-angry looking faces were all over the place... It seems that everybody has a face that ready to killed anyone that day!! I was there in shanghai subway train, packed with hundreds of people.. Tightly squeezed by people from all direction.. seriously all direction including from the bottom since there was someone bring his luggage and put it right beside my feets... A little more squeeze will make me out of breath and end up fainted... Thanks god it was closed to "people's square"(one of the most destinated place in shanghai) ... lots of people getting out.. but its outnumbered with people coming in!!!! crazy.. it just crazy day...

Anyway, during the journey :p, I was looking around try to pay attention to everyone.. everybody looked so scary that day.. maybe the heat and the squeezed make them so.. But there were this girl... around 20th.. whom pretty much lucky got a seat but gave her comfort to a middle age man who just enter the subway... I noticed that the man were not even gave her a smile.. and her destination station still long to go... (I know because mine is the farthest one :p) she took a disadvantage position just for someone that probably she will never met anymore... Shanghai is populated with around 14 millions people... Believe me, everyday you will look on faces that you would never met again in your life... But she was having a little smile and I can see a peacefull look on her face...

You know, I think to myself, I realize that most of the time people, including me, are too concentrated on something or issues that are more negative rather than positive things.. like we are more likely aware of hatred, selfishness of the people around us, abuses, gossips or etc... (Hey! There is no happily ever after topic on newspaper!! Everyone want HOT stuff!! More deadly or scary it is, more interesting it would be)... Sometimes, whether you realized or not, we felt living alone with the enemies among us... well you might have some friends who cares about you.. but you still felt surrounded by millions of Strangers that makes you on guard all the time..

But, is it true?? or it just the way we think is wrong, that make all the things we perceived are seems so bad..

Are love and compassion really hard to find in our world?? Actually, its not hard at all... If we start to pay attention to other people, see their good side rather than bad side, think positive... learn to give out love and also learn to let it in.. I think it will open our eyes to see more love than the otherwise..

Also I met this germany girl, she lived at phillipines before  to help farmers to get their rights against the government.. while she could have continues her college degree.. But she stop, and she went to make an errand for those phillipino that she never met before.. and risk her life to be jailed or even killed... She faced water canon there... unbelieveable... I asked her why? She just smile to me and simply said.. I only live my life once, If I passed my chance to help other people to make better world, my live would be a waste... what a waste, he repeat her last sentence like a whisper...

Nowadays, everytimes I take a walk, I try to smile to other people and greed them... They return my smile with smile and then I realized more smile than stressed faces... I saw parents playing around with their children in the park, happy tears and hug in airports between friends or family, friends joking around at my school, etc... It is a wonderful world when you can see it..

You know we live inside a house with an ugly dirty window but have a beautiful view outside the house... It is just our choice to look and concentrate on our ugly window or look at beautiful view through it...

I have a friend who told me before about a phrase... but I have never understand it better than now...

Preoccupied with single leaf, you cannot see the tree...
Preoccupied with single tree, you forgot the whole forrest...

I know that Selfishness, greed, gossips, and all negative sometimes is enjoyable to experience or to know... but if we preoccupied with those negative things... you cannot see the love and the compassion around us... And then it will lead you to forgot the whole meaning of life.

Just like those people who sang "Where is the love?"
I guess they are too blind to see The LOVE, which is actually everywhere...